The cost of social justice

Yesterday I was teaching my social justice class about social justice and liberation.

I get up there and spew this wisdom that I forget to take.

On Monday, I got a call at work from a lady that I have started to work with regarding social justice issues in the region where I live. Let's call her "G". G called and told me that there is a woman she knows, a client, who is in desperate shape. She has no money for food, is two months behind on rent and the job she was counting on (she cleans houses for a living) canceled that morning. G couldn't meet her to give her a Price Chopper gift card, so I volunteered to meet the lady (let's call her "Ana"), since I live close to her.

All day long I thought about this woman. I pictured her sitting in her kitchen and worrying about how she was going to pay the bills and feed the kids. I remember being little and watching my Mom figure out our money on the backs of envelopes or scraps of paper. She counted on every penny. I knew when things were rough, money-wise at home. That's when dinner consisted of fried eggs and rice or rice and Spam. I remember when there was no money at all, how we would empty out all of the piggy banks and create a game of it all. Being older myself, and knowing what it's like to lie awake at night an worry about money, I tried to put myself in Ana's shoes.

My immediate instinct was to go to the store and take some money out of the ATM. Money that I would give to this stranger. I tried to quickly sketch out a mental budget of how much money my family and I would need until the next paycheck. I tried to figure out if I could afford to be of any help. After wrestling with my conscience and memories of my childhood, I withdrew the money and obsessed about it for the thirty minutes it would take me to get home. The conversation in my head was interesting. I told myself that this was money that I could use for myself for gas the next day. "I could buy gas, lunch and some groceries with this" I thought to myself. I thought that if Ana was sketchy, I wouldn't give her anything. I thought that if I found a way to spend the money before I had to meet her than the money would be a moot point. I heard the old tape playing in my head, voices of my family (ironically) telling me what I fool I was and how I can't trust anybody and I don't have money to just give away and on and on.

I decided I would talk to my Wife. After all, giving money away was to give family funds away. As I thought aloud with my Wife, I could see--clearly see--what I needed to do.

I waited in the church where the day's free hot meal was being served. I read the bulletins and anything I could read until someone might notice me and how out of place I was in my North Face jacket and pressed pants. A woman from the church asked my name and said that there was someone waiting for me.

When I met Ana, I was struck by how much she looked like my own Mother. Her face, pretty but worn and her hands showed how hard she had worked in her life. She immediately told me most of her life story--all in Spanish--and the tears streamed down her face. The story she told is not unlike the stories I am hearing everywhere, of good people trying to find money and food to make their lives work and keep their families going. The difference was that this story didn't have a "face" until Monday night. I took the money out of my pocket and told her what my Grandmother used to tell me when she gave me money: "Poquito, pero con carino." It basically means, it's a little, but it's with care.

Upon seeing the gift, she grabbed me and held me tight. She was crying harder now but still managed to kiss both of my cheeks and telling me that she would repay me. I told her not to even worry about that. God would take care of me. I told her that I couldn't help her with more money, but I could get her the food that she needed for her family. I said goodbye and found myself to be uncharacteristically (for me) emotional outside of the church.

I came home and told my Wife about Ana, we shared the story with friends and received all kinds of donations that are being delivered tomorrow.

Yesterday, she called to thank me. She called me an angel and said that she has been asking God to bless me. Meanwhile, I have been doing the same for her. I have done nothing but worry about this lady since Monday. I heard from G today that this woman has been doing better since Monday. The money that I gave her allowed her to relieve some of her stress in what bills she was able to pay. She was hired for cleaning jobs this week and she is feeling like her luck is starting to change.

I told my class that there is a price for social justice. I told them that you could lose family and friends, you could feel isolated, and extreme cases, be subjected to violence. What I forgot to mention that social justice--when it really works--means that you are genuinely connected to another human being's suffering. Ana's problem became my problem as well. It wasn't enough for me to witness that, it was something that I needed to confront in the minimized way that I did.

I don't regret what I did. I regret that I couldn't have given any more. What I hope is that Ana is okay and that she knows that she is cared for, and that there are millions of people everywhere who would easily do the same--and more--for a stranger.

We're already making a difference...

Since I have started the Facebook group, folks have been thinking hard about what they can do to create spare change, and they have been taking action! Today, I will be posting the things that people have been doing to make a difference. If you are interested in creating spare change but are fresh out of ideas, you might be sparked or inspired by some of these...

Cheryl from PA: i think i can spare change....i am going to take all of the stuff i posted on craig's list for sale to my local thrift store. it will help them keep the jobs they have for people and i don't really need the two dollars i was gonna get for it anyway. then, people in that neighborhood can buy stuff they need because they can afford it. i might do more later if i'm not too tired from lifting all of those boxes.

Casey from MA: I just made a micro-loan at MicroPlace.com. This loan will help someone in the United States start a business. Anything for the economy... (And then Casey wrote back) I am going to volunteer with The Extraordinaries. I get to help from home, from the grocery store, from anywhere. You can help too, check out the info session next Wednesday.

Katrina wrote: I just became a Red Cross "Champion for Life" by joining their frequent donor program after I found out that the blood bank in my home town is almost constantly low on my type (B positive). I donated here for the first time to commemorate the National Day of Service and I'll continue that sentiment.

Chloe wrote: I just found out that a ton of local kids are showing up to school without coats, food, basic needs - and that the elementary school has been feeding them, clothing them, and footing the bill with no help from the state. I'm talking with the principal and others to organize the community to help these kids. My little hometown is a pretty affluent place - there is no excuse for this.

Our Facebook group has 92 members and we get more everyday! Thanks to all of you who have written in with stories about how you are creating spare change! But more importantly, thanks for taking this much-needed action!

It's Happening!

This morning, I started the Facebook group ("I Can Spare Change") and told my wife about how scared and nervous I was about it. I was sure that I would be laughed at. You see, all my life I have been accused of being too idealistic and too nice and too forgiving and this was all seen and valued as some kind of naivete. I was mocked because I believe that within every single person there is some good. I was called "weak" because I forgave people who hurt me. (Do you know how hard it is and strong you have to be to forgive)? Still, I believed, as I do right now, that we are all capable of good things.

I created the Facebook group and held my breath. In just one day, less than 24 hours and at the time of this posting, we have 36 members! Every little bit counts and every bit makes a difference.

There are two scenes that are driving me forward. One is from "Finding Nemo". Nemo gets caught in a fish net with a ton of other fish. They have the choice of being dragged up to the surface by the strength of the pulley where they will be gasping for air and fighting for life, or they can take the other path. Instead of giving up, Nemo tells them that if they work together, they'll be okay. "Just keep swimming!", he urges. And guess what? The fish win--they save one another.

The other scene is from "Horton Hears a Who". Horton's speck is about to be boiled and it's up to the people of Whoville to make enough noise to prove they exist. They make as much noise as they can, but it's only until every single Who in Whoville makes noise that again, they save each other in the process.

We're no different. If each one of us does something, we can help each other out.

If you joined our group today, thank you so much! Tell your friends and spread the word.

i can spare change...can you?

when barack obama was a candidate for president, i was planning on voting for hillary clinton. i just couldn't believe that this guy was for real. i had attended an all women's college and my family was all about girl power. i wanted to see a woman in the white house, and not as first lady, but as president. i fought the notion of voting for him for a very long time. during the primaries, before i pulled into the parking lot of the polling location, i honked at the hillary supporters. i went into the voting booth all alone, as we all do. when i stepped into the booth, almost as if it was someone else's hand, i voted for obama. i keep hearing people say that they voted for him because they wanted to be "on the right side of history." i feared him because he was talking about hope and he was making others--and just about everyone around me--feel hopeful. eventually, i gave in and started to believe that what he was saying about the world around me changing, was really possible. on election day, i was a completely different person than who i was before the primaries. i went into the polling place with my obama tshirt on. i had texted my friends and wished them good luck. my mind was on one thing all day--the change this man would bring.

inauguration day felt like new year's day to me. i was filled with excitement and i was waiting for something to happen.

in the days since, i have been watching the news and worrying about friends and family members losing their jobs. i have been afraid of losing my own job and what that would mean for my family. i tuned in to president obama's address on the economy. the whole time, i was wondering, "what can i do? what can i do right now?" i thought about what i have right now that i could give. not lend, or expect back, not create i.o.u.'s for but what i could give. so here's what i did...i started teaching a social justice class. it meets every sunday morning and there are four women who want to learn and i teach for free. that wasn't enough. i knew that i could give more. my mom told me that three local animal shelters were closing because they couldn't afford to pay their staff. the animals would be moved to other locations. so what did i do? i signed up to be a volunteer at my local animal shelter. i know that i can walk a dog for an hour on a saturday morning. that's something that i can do today. right now. something that can make a difference. but that's not enough. i give social justice workshops and i get paid for them. i know that the colleges are having trouble with funding and programs are getting cut. my aunt who is an art professor isn't getting paid because there isn't money for that. so what can i do? i can share my knowledge for free.

last night, i shared this with my friend, and teacher. she said that i should share this with other people and see what they can do, today, right now, to make a difference.

i voted for president obama, and now i am realizing that the choice i made on november 4th was not to be passive, but to create change. obama can't change our world on his own. and me, even with my menacing four-foot-eleven-inch tall frame, can't do it on my own, either. it's going to take obama and me, and my wife and my family and my best friend and my teacher and my students and my neighbors and you and you and you and you.

i am a 34 year-old Latina lesbian who has two chronic illnesses and i am finding ways to spare change. can you?

tell me how you are sparing change by replying to this post or emailing me at icansparechange@gmail.com